Well things aren’t looking good on the college path. I studied all week, every spare minute I had my math book open. I’ll admit, between the emotional falling-down-a-ravine I went through I was having a hard time concentrating but I put everything into trying to prep for this test. I gave up my entire weekend and sat in my room, closed the door, and poured over my math book. I watched hours of youtube lectures and seminars, did twice as much homework as was assigned to me, and reviewed my notes, re-wrote them, and compressed them onto a note card for the test. When I got my exam back today I literally felt like my stomach fell into my feet. 56%. My last test was a 74% and I was absolutely thrilled about that but I went through all my returned papers to get an idea of my current overall grade… I’m sitting at a 65%. A solid D. In order to get a ‘pass’ for this class and the credit on my transcript I need at least a 70%. Now we have a quiz we’ll be given on Thursday to try to bring our score up but I am so terrible at polynomials -and- I have to learn a LOT of new material that I just don’t know how I’m going to manage it. We also have another test on Thursday in Biology and I’ve been neglecting that class for math.
Bottom line- I’ve been given only two semesters of financial aid for this school. Two. If I fail my math class I have to take it again and in that case I’ll have to either take Biology OR Math. I’ll have to pay for the math class out of pocket and right now I’m making around $500 a month.
I’m starting to think more and more that college just isn’t a realistic goal for me. I know I’m not stupid but there are things I just -cannot- comprehend. I can only remember so much and know how to apply things. It doesn’t help that I have a very bad teacher this term (seriously, most of the class failed). If she doesn’t grade on a curb I think most of the class will get D’s at this point. Even one of the smarter kids in the class got a 62%- and she’s very good at what she does.
I don’t know guys. Please pray for me. I need direction. If I’m not meant to go to college I don’t know where I’m meant to go with my life. I can’t be stuck where I am forever. I just want to move on and have a life of my own.
